“When I shop the world is better…but then it’s not any more and I need to do it again.”
I have to confess that the trailer for Confessions of a Shopaholic prepared me for the worst. A breathless “You speak Prada”. Clothes shooting out of a stuffed closet. Chipping ice away from a credit card safely frozen away from use with the heel of a $400 Jimmy Choo (I’m not sure which was worse). I went to the movie steeled for what was sure to be a celebration of consumerism.
Confessions of a Shopaholic was a good movie, but it’s not a great financial roadmap for getting out of debt. It’s not likely that you’ll sell all your clothing and raise enough to pay off your debt and by so doing, the movie completely shortchanges the work and effort that millions of Americans going through as our country begins to work off the debt hangover of the last 15 years. So although I don’t recommend the movie as a blueprint for getting out of debt, I did come away with a few gems of wisdom that I didn’t expect.
“Shopping is the best feeling in the world. The smell of shoes. The rush when you swipe. I feel confident, alive, warm.”
Like most effective deceptions, this contains a half-truth. Shopping is glamorous and there is a rush of accomplishment in acquisition. Marketers convince us that our self-worth and perception should come from what we buy, how we dress, or where we shop and we’re proud of ourselves when we live up to that ideal. But behind the rush is a false sale of goods. Like the cashmere jacket that isn’t as claimed to the fine print of the credit card contract, we’re often sold an image and a half-truth that we too often buy. “We print the prices small. And after all, that’s what credit cards are for.”
“I lie because I shop.”
Unopened bills. Debt collectors. Hidden purchases. We live a double life, lying ourselves and others. It’s only when the house of cards (pun intended) begins to wobble that we cope with the problem. Over a bottle of tequila or with friends and family, we come to a realization that the path we’re traveling will take us to a place we don’t want to be. Like Rebecca Bloomwood, the journey may involve repeated backsliding to find peace. Backsliding is part of the process and it’s getting back up to try again that counts more than the falls.
“I choose not to be defined by what I wear or what I own.”
The heroes and counterpoint to the shopaholic are the frugal savers and those with intrinsic self-worth. They may be the glamorous Luke Brandon or Rebecca’s humble parents, but these heroes live by their own rules an find comfort and security, not by entirely eschewing material goods, but by living within a life view set for themselves in which they find balance and lasting fulfillment.
“They said I was a valued customer. Now they send me hate mail.”
Your relationship with your credit card and retailer is not a real relationship. Your friends and family offer true support and will be there for you always. Your retailer is only there for you when you can pay the bills. If your spending or debt impacts your relationships, you’re making a mistake.
“How can I pay off $16K in debt? Maybe I could win the lottery.”
Many people in debt reach a point of despair when it seems that only divine intervention can save them. This isn’t as uncommon as you’d think: a surprising number of Americans feel that their best chance to retire is to win the lottery. The inner voice of despair can rob us of the initiative needed for change: “What’s a $100 dinner when I’m already thousands of dollars in debt? It doesn’t matter.”. Although despair can rob us of the will to act, knowledge can bring power. Most people are surprised by how much progress they can make against their debt with constant action. Concerted effort can get most people out of credit card debt in 3-5 years without paying more than current minimum payments. And applying those payments to the mortgage can pay it off in less than 15. It just takes motivation and vigilance.
“I need help.”
Shopping and debt is a complex problem. There are rushes of success, rushes of indulgent pleasure, pangs of guilt and loathing, pledges and backsliding, disappointments and progress. It’s hard. It’s a change not only to your behavior but to your ingrained life-view. Most of us don’t get there on our own. Whether we know it or not and whether we ask for it or not, we only succeed with the help of others. Reaching out and asking is the best way to get that help.
“Simplify and order.”
Thoreau may have had this one right-our possessions can hold us back. Getting rid of things we don’t use or don’t value can free the mind to focus on the things that do.
“Am I a good investment?”
Would your friends loan you money? If they did would it be out of charity or a true belief that they would get their money back? Are you a good investment?
Scott Crawford is CEO of DebtGoal.com, a do-it-yourself system for getting out of debt and lowering your interest costs. DebtGoal.com incorporates all of the techniques discussed in this post and can help users understand and get visibility to and manage their debt finances.
